Robin Scott - Who Needs Insurance.txt

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Insurance is of course a form of gambling, with the odds
carefully calculated so that the house always wins since the
insurance companies always make a profit no matter how
much they pay out during the year. If we could read the
future and discover when we were going to die or when our
homes might burn down the insurance companies would be
out of business within a day. Another thing that might cause
the companies trouble would be a safety-prone, a man who
would be the opposite of an accident-prone, an individual
who never got into trouble. With realistic appraisal Mr. Scott
examines just this interesting problem.

WHO NEEDS INSURANCE?

Robin S. Scott
I've always been a pretty lucky guy. I don't mean at cards or
even before Marty with women. Just lucky in the sense
that my ration of ill fortune has always been slight. All my
life  I  seem  to  have  walked  dry  through  the  shower  of
vicissitude which seems to be the normal human lot. I never
broke a bone as a kid or had more than the usual run of
childhood diseases. I never piled up a car, or had appendicitis,
or suffered food poisoning, or got cleated by that vicious
fullback who played for Carroisville before they threw him
out in 1941, the year I graduated from Mumford Junction.
And because there are lots of others I've known who
seemed lucky in this way, I never suspected my luck was any
different more than just plain "luck? even after the Ploesti
raid. It wasn't until Vietnam that I became convinced that my
luck was really out of the ordinary, and even then I didn't
really understand it. I never would have known what it really
amounted to if it weren't for Marty. But I'm getting ahead of
myself.
Ploesti was a simple enough thing. That I survived the raid
was good luck indeed, but not unusual good luck. Lots of
others survived, too. The unusual part was the way I survived.
I was copilot of a pretty rickety B-24 attached to the 389th
Bomber Group, which, we discovered later, had somehow
slipped through its last maintenance check without being
checked. Anyway, we'd come in from the southwest, over the
rolling foothills of the Transylvanian Alps, made our bomb-
run on "White One" without taking many hits, and slid
weaving out through smokestacks of the refineries at about
sixty feet. We were just beginning to congratulate ourselves
on getting through what was obviously one of the hairiest
raids of the war. I had just turned a little in my seat to see if
George wanted me to take it when an 88 mm shell popped in
through the nose canopy, through the bombardier, and ex-
ploded somewhere above and behind us, knocking out both
inboard engines.
Funny how suddenly aware you can be at a time like that.
My whole life did not pass before my eyes; I was much too
busy watching the curious, almost slow-motion effect of eight
pounds of high-explosive and fine German steel. There was
light, of course, like a hundred flashbulbs going off at once,
and there was heat and blast. George simply disappeared. So
did his yoke and several feet of fuselage. The nose canopy
was gone and the sudden drag and the blast threw me forward
against my yoke. I grabbed it, surprised that I could still grab,
and looked to see if I had any feet left. All I could see was
gore, but it wasn't mine. It was the bombardier's. He was a
young kid, a year younger than my ancient twenty, and I
can't even remember his name.
My being thrown against the yoke nosed us down enough
so that we didn't stall out then and there, and I was able to
get us a little flying speed before we ran out of air and joined
the Rumanian underground. I went to full power on Number
One and Number Four and we got on out of there. Major
Bricks, the Squadron Intelligence Officer, was riding observer
and doubling at one of the waist guns. He stuck his head in
through the hatch, took one look at the mess, and went back
to the waist, praying as he told me lateral the way.
So that was the first miracle of the Ploesti trip-that I had
survived that 88. When we got back to base at Benghazi, no
one could believe what they saw in the cockpit of the
Goldbrick. One half the pilot?s completely torn apart; the
other-mine-almost untouched.
But it wasn't all that easy getting back to Benghazi, and
that's the second miracle real unusual stroke of luck if you
will of my visit to Ploesti, the oil capital of Rumania. We'd
clawed our way on two engines up to thirty-five hundred feet,
and I was beginning to breathe easier when whacko! Oil
pressure on Number Four dropped to zilch in about ten
seconds. I could see the black gold streaming out through the
cooler flaps. I pulled off power and feathered, and we were
lucky again: no fire. But that is usual luck, although very
good luck indeed. What was unusual was this: a B-24 can, if
you are very lucky and not heavily loaded, maintain altitude
on one engine. But not with most of the front end of the
airplane missing. No sir. It ruins the streamlining, and as they
used to kid us at Randolph Field, "that which draggeth,
falleth." So I fiddled along without much real hope, trying to
coax the maximum thrust out of that poor, tortured Number
One engine, and calculating how far we had to go in order to
jump into that part of Yugoslavia controlled by Tito.
I boosted the mixture to rich and increased pitch slowly,
trying to keep manifold pressure somewhere in the neighbor-
hood of the red line. And then I discovered it. / could pull the
propeller to full high pitch and the RPM's didn't drop! The
prop was roaring like an insane lion and chewing great
chunks of air with each revolution, but it didn't slow. It took
all my strength with both feet on the left rudder pedal to keep
us from crabbing around into a flat turn. I figured out later
that strange engine had an effective power boost equivalent to
an extra eight hundred horsepower, and that in a twelve
hundred horsepower engine! Right then, though, twenty-five
hundred feet over Yugoslavia, I didn't do any figuring. I was
just too shook to be anything but properly grateful.
So we went bucketing and yawing down across the Balkans,
down through the Ionian Sea and across the Mediterranean to
Libya. I was into the slot for an upwind approach when both
outboard engines went bang, and I mean exploded. I could
understand Number One going. It had roared long enough
and K&d earned the honor of a decent burial. But old Number
Four had been loafing on full feather and hadn't turned a lick
for almost five hours. Anyway, both went bang, Number One
deserting us entirely, whistling down to bury itself in the sand
off the end of the Four-Five runway, while Number Four
burned merrily in its cowling, although with no oil and only a
carburetor full of gas, without much real malice.
Despite everything, it was a satisfactory landing, and like
/ the rest of the slobs who had visited sunny Rumania that day,
I was too thankful to be back in one piece to speculate much
about the nature of my good luck. It wasn't until a couple of
days later, after a very alcoholic evening in Major Bricks'
tent, that I began to get really curious about that Number
One engine and its evident ability to do full RPM's at full
high pitch.
I can't stand being curious. It's like an itch, a painful
irritation somewhere deep inside, and I have to scratch. I
went to see Mcdougal, the Chief of Maintenance for the
389th. Like me, Mcdougal had been pulled into the Army Air
Corps from college. But, while I had put in only two years at
Indiana, Mac was doing graduate work in Fluid Mechanics
when he was offered a choice between civilian work on some
highly classified project in a little Tennessee town named Oak
Ridge or a direct commission in the Air Corps. Mac is a little
unconventional and a little nuts, and he thought he'd have a
better time in the war if he could smell gunpowder. He was
the sort of Maintenance Chief who used to sneak rides as
gunner, radioman, flight engineer, what-have-you. He could
even fly passably well.
It was after ten in the evening when I caught up with Mac.
The desert heat had been sucked off into a series of towering
thunderheads which instead of shedding their favors on Lib-
yan soil wou'd undoubtedly move out into the Mediterran-
.ean and kick hell out of some poor Greek SPOPTO fishermen.
It was cool even inside the silver corrugations of the R & M
hangar, and Mac was relaxing with one of those thin little
books on mathematics which have no numbers in them, just
alphabets, and which cost about twelve dollars a running inch.
I went to see Mac because I had to scratch my curiosity itch,
and because besides being a first-rate technical mind, Mac had
been a friend since we had been boys together in Mumford
Junction.
Mac offered me a beer from the avgas compressed air beer
cooler in the corner of his office and set me at ease with the
back-home southern Indiana drawl he affected. I'd lost mine
at Bloomington, in college. MIT and the sophistication of
Boston had intensified Mac's,
"How's it goin'. Ace," he drawled. Mac called everybody
"Ace." Everybody he liked, that is.
"Like a hawg with both feet in the trough," I answered,
slipping back into Mumford Junction to make Mac feel good.
Mac took a long pull on his beer. "Just about creamed
yourself on that Ploesti party, didn't you?" He looked out
from under his bushy red eyebrows and down his long arched
nose at me, and his eyes twinkled. "I'm glad you made it,
Ace."
"Thanks, Mac." His pleasure was sincere, and I was
touched. "Have you seen what's left of the Goldbrick?"
"Yeah, I seen it, and I seen better lookin' junk spreadin'
fertilizer on your old man's back forty. You could just as well
have left it for the Krauts ...
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